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My friend, Jan Reynolds, who just so happens to also be my sista from another mista, just posted this on Facebook. I love it!! This song totally makes me think of busting through a paper sign like how you see a stripper bust out of a gigantic paper-mâché birthday cake in a dirty movie you ought not to be watching under the age of, say, 18. And, if I let my mind wander, I can see myself clearly just ripping around on a stage somewhere, projecting warm rays of sunshine from my chest out into the audience, hearts coming out of my eyes, just like THIS: 😍...Makes me want to put on a sun visor, saddle my hips up with a fanny pack, and go speedwalk in that ghost town that used to be the Bartlesville mall...Makes me think of lemons, all tart and yellow, just as God himself intended them to be...Makes me get the urge to blow some bubbles and laugh like a wild hyena while a goofy but forever loyal yellow Labrador retriever I haven't met yet nips at them, midair, just like a fromp in the bathtub, ya'll! <3 <3
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This might sound dumb to you, but this song makes me cry like "Somewhere Over the Rainbow" makes me cry...a cleansing, purifying kind of cry. I have to do that sometimes, search for the perfect song to get my emotions outside of myself. For years, I bottled everything up and just tried to sort out feelings and thoughts into neat piles in my heart and mind, almost like sorting laundry. A 'what needs to be dealt with now?' pile...and a 'what can I stuff down until I am ready to deal with it?' pile. And songs like this one help me work the piles by pushing everything jumbled up in there, out. Doesn't happen as often anymore, but it does happen. Like tonight. Tonight, this is what I feel: Grateful. Hopeful. Relieved. Sad, kinda. Well-intentioned. Pretty. Poor, and then Rich. Rich, and then Poor, but they are only the descriptive measures of two very different things...just different-colored rulers, but rulers, still. My heart swells, then deflates, only to swell again. I'm afraid of failure, but anticipating only goodness. I am cold and hard in a lot of ways, but raw in my heart in still-too-many areas where I should already have hardened callous. But I'm not crazy, I promise. I am just real. Never has there been a better day to be alive, and I welcome what lies ahead. Please, excuse me while I try my best to embrace it all. <3 For writers, it's simple. We don't just sit down and start writing. Nope, it's just not that easy! Writers look for inspiration in EVERYthing...and write then when we feel moved to do so. The notion can strike at any time, too, night or day. My mind is a perpetual notebook, my thoughts scribbled head trips across gray and purplish fleshy folds of my very own brain. Sometimes I awaken in the morning with words on my heart, and it's like rapid fire in my cerebellar abacus. If I wait until night to write, sometimes the words, the feelings, the stories are there...but too often they are not. Still, all I can do is write about it.
When our lives are finished, people aren't going to care how many hours a week you worked, nor how hard. Folks aren't going to give a flying figarooni about that designer handbag in your closet, even though you saved for months to be able to finally afford it. Nobody is going to care about your surround sound rigged up in each of the four corners of your living room, just so you could hear the clarity in that episode of PBS' Nature. What they will remember, however, is the way you made them feel.
*** I will remember you, will you remember me? Don't let your life pass you by, Weep not for the memories Remember the good times that we had? I let them slip away from us when things got bad. How clearly I first saw you smilin' in the sun Want to feel your warmth upon me I want to be the one I will remember you, will you remember me? Don't let your life pass you by Weep not for the memories I'm so tired but I can't sleep Standin' on the edge of something much to deep It's funny how we feel so much but we cannot say a word We are screaming inside, but we can't be heard I will remember you, will you remember me? Don't let your life pass you by Weep not for the memories I'm so afraid to love you But more afraid to lose Clinging to a past that doesn't let me choose Once there was a darkness Deep and endless night You gave me everything you had, oh you gave me life I will remember you, will you remember me? Don't let your life pass you by Weep not for the memories I will remember you, will you remember me? Don't let your life pass you by Weep not for the memories  This night was PERFECT. Molly, Grace, Griffin, and I went first to Delaware to support the Delaware Youth Committee. I saw an old classmate, Shannon Duncan, who was (wo)manning the stand. We promptly made our way over to the food, where we ran into Kathy, who proceeded to make us the best sno-cones $0.50 can buy! We chose pink lemonade, pink lemonade, cherry, and tiger's blood, respectively.
Then, back to Nowata to visit the Trinity stand out by the park. I managed to stay within my preset budget. Neither place we visited tonight had much action, so we were able to visit with the nice folks running them. And, that BREEZE! The kind of breeze that takes all the sticky, stagnant air and moves it out of your way, as if to go ahead of you in line just to hold open the door: "Here, let me get that for you." Just...lovely! I'm glad I listened to myself and acted on my whim tonight. I love summer. I love America. I love our flag, and the true story behind its beautiful and purposeful design. I love my kids and I am thankful every day they are United States citizens. I have to admit, I love small-town life, too. I love that when I smile at somebody, they have the decency to smile back. I love that when I walk down my road, some friendly someone always stops and asks me if I need a ride. I love that I can choose to worship where, and how, I desire. I love that I can own one gun or 50, and I appreciate the efforts of so many before me who have made it their life's work and passion to preserve our liberties, our freedoms, our America. I appreciate the true patriots, the working class, the ones who won't settle for the dumbing-down of America that has become a way of life for crooked government, but instead get up every day, make an honest living, and then at the end of the day thank God for the freedom and the ability to live in a country where we CAN labor in whatever capacity we choose. And yes, it is true: I love the fireworks. Night works, really, those are the ones I love the most. The big, starry displays in the sky, watching them, make me cry some years, depending upon just how hard the year has been up until that point in early July, when, nights like tonight happen and we are left with the stark realization of just how fortunate, how BLESSED we are to be able to live right here, in the greatest country in the world. The gratitude I feel for this very privilege is something that runs deep and wide in me, a river of thankfulness that will flow for as long as my heart intends to beat. I remain thankful. May God continue to bless Our America, and may we continue to pray for God-fearing leaders in their guidance of this great nation. Happy Independence Day, from my heart to yours. <3 |
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