Landslide

This might sound dumb to you, but this song makes me cry like "Somewhere Over the Rainbow" makes me cry...a cleansing, purifying kind of cry. I have to do that sometimes, search for the perfect song to get my emotions outside of myself. For years, I bottled everything up and just tried to sort out feelings and thoughts into neat piles in my heart and mind, almost like sorting laundry. A 'what needs to be dealt with now?' pile...and a 'what can I stuff down until I am ready to deal with it?' pile. And songs like this one help me work the piles by pushing everything jumbled up in there, out. Doesn't happen as often anymore, but it does happen. Like tonight. Tonight, this is what I feel: Grateful. Hopeful. Relieved. Sad, kinda. Well-intentioned. Pretty. Poor, and then Rich. Rich, and then Poor, but they are only the descriptive measures of two very different things...just different-colored rulers, but rulers, still. My heart swells, then deflates, only to swell again. I'm afraid of failure, but anticipating only goodness. I am cold and hard in a lot of ways, but raw in my heart in still-too-many areas where I should already have hardened callous. But I'm not crazy, I promise. I am just real. Never has there been a better day to be alive, and I welcome what lies ahead. Please, excuse me while I try my best to embrace it all.  <3