 Things are weird right now. I have a lot of big decisions to make. I feel like I'm on a cliff's edge and either I need to take a leap of faith and pray everything works out, or else continue on the path I'm on. Family, work, my own physical and mental health...dental appointments for the kids, my own pathology results and how to move forward, plans tossed around about moving... everything seems to be weighing on us right now. I am grateful that I work where I do, though, and that I am surrounded by adults and children alike who give my children and I mutual support. I feel like I am at war with myself but want to throw down that offering of peace. Mostly, I just want to make certain of my family's happiness for the future. I don't have much time and yet, quite the contrary, I have all the time I need to make the best decision surrounding it all. And of course I thrill with the knowledge that I always have writing to fall back on. This is a healthy coping skill I am trying to cultivate within my own children as well as the kids at school with whom I work and am privileged to talk to on an almost-daily basis.
My dream career is to write for a living, drawing upon the many diverse experiences in my life, even the trauma and the drama. The reality is I simply do not have the connections this business (the business of writing best sellers) mandates for a career full time. I'd love to travel as I write, so as to pull from experiences that inspire me along my journey. I love to help people and feel very fulfilled in my career, but honestly I guess I should just reckon with reality: I AM NOT THERE. YET. I want to do more. I absolutely LOVE the fact that I have been able to dive into classrooms and facilitate chats and provide students and faculty alike with recommendations and feedback. EFT and other coping skills. Listen to them vent in a non-judgemental environment. Hug them when they obviously need it. My work is extremely fulfilling and I believe I do make a difference. I happen to be privileged enough to be embedded in a school where my colleagues all feel like a member of the family I 'would have' chosen for my very own, given the choice. Mrs. Sherry, Mrs. Auer, Mrs. Sellars, Mr. Sellars, Mrs. Thomas, Mrs. Taylor, Coach Wicks, Coach Ott, Coach Hall, Mrs. Reeves -- these are but a few of the people to whom I am grateful for every single hour who allow me to be a part of their daily programming. They often do not mind if I hang out in their classes or even if I need to pull one of the students for a session, even if it is a core class! For me, that is HUGE. Alas, these faculty members are my Someone(s) Special. They're the ones featured on my daily school menu of people whom I know I can count on and trust in my current educational environment. There are several others, of course, but these are the ones with whom I have almost-daily interaction, and I appreciate them so very much. Tomorrow and Monday I am presenting about closure and writing letters of appreciation to Mrs. Angie Thomas and then, on Monday, letters of closure to ourselves. COVID-19 has brought so many down, and it has kept some of us there, too, who constantly question and doubt our significance in this big world. My hope on these next few classroom presentations is to squelch that doubt of that in my students, and it all begins with closure. Mrs. Thomas will not be back come August. She has made the noble decision to stay home and care for her grandchildren, and I so admire her for that. Mrs. Thomas's family is SO VERY BLESSED to have that option offered to them. She is a wonderfully-heartfelt, caring teacher and has been one of my mentors this year. I wanna be just like her when I grow up, and I look at her the way I often did the teachers who took ME under their wings: Mrs. Phyllis Temple. Mrs. Willis. Coach Winefield. Dr. Jobe. Guys...the haunting reality is that some of these kids have such a terrible home life and personal histories of trauma that, without inspiration or the proper appropriate caretaking or guidance from an adult, the suicide rates would be even higher. Thank you to all the teacher-blessings out there. Never doubt that our kiddos need you like maybe some of US may have needed you all back in our day. So often our teachers give TIRELESSLY of themselves alllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll day and then go home and give themselves ENTIRELY to their families, and I see that. I SEE YOU. You all love Our Kids so much that you find it within yourselves to attempt to do it all. The work you do has NOT gone unnoticed or unappreciated. You often hear our kids' hearts out when us parents simply CAN.NOT.DO.IT. for whatever reason. Thank you all once again from the bottom of my heart. I wish I could do more than I am doing/can do, but save for the lame teacher appreciation gifts of Boggle, Mr. Sketch markers, and WiseBeans coffee gift cards coming atchu on Friday, all I can do is write about it. Just like that Skynard song said... :) Enjoy your summer, teachers. Please know that we parents love you and appreciate all you do, no matter how small. <3
0 Comments
Leave a Reply. |
|
RSS Feed