'Til Kingdom Come

Steal my heart and hold my tongue.
I feel my time, my time has come.
Let me in, unlock the door.
I've never felt this way before.

What do you get when you've got a mixed-up woman with a head on her shoulders but who's forgotten how to use it?  What do you get when you've got a passionate man who WANTS to care for someone, and not have that passion neglected or ignored?  What do you get when you've got a smiling and accepting woman AND man on the other side of your "stuff"?  

I swear.   I see my future with him like a movie.  He puts his arm around me comfortably when we are together.  HE HOLDS ME...and he really means it.  I have never, EVER felt this way before in any relationship.  It's almost like...a lot of times...I can TOTALLY tell you what Tyler's thinking!   I could guess his thoughts, his behaviors, his facial expressions.  The way he kisses me.  

He and I have involved ourselves with a series on Netlflix. Whie we're watching, though... I always become distracted by his LEGS.  HIS LEGS!!!  Tyler's LEGS!  I have not ever come to terms with this.  Quite frankly, I don't understand it.  Legs are NEW to me.  Always before, it was a man's eyes, or something he said.  But this time?!   It's his LEGS.  I knew HE was strong when we first got together after my big hospital scare this last July.   I met him in Kansas City...and he was wearing shorts.  I think maybe I had on my typical wardrobe of black or gray.  BUT HIS LEGS MADE THE MOST MAGNIFICENT IMPRESSION ON ME.  This man's legs were strong..but relaxed!  His legs were sturdy...and sentimental.  His legs and his body language never told me anything other than WHO he was.  Strong...Changed...Wise...Planted.  It was like he completely KNEW instinctually what I needed in a partner.   The whole time I spent with him, Tyler never tried to touch, tease, influence.  He and I completely bumbled around Kansas City in the way that maybe old friends might.  I stayed in his camper overnight  and he gave me the big bed...and he never tried to convince me anywhichway.  I felt safe.  I felt cared for.  I felt that my friendship with him was valued.  I had never experienced this...it was brand new!  

Fast forward a few months. I asked him to take me to a medical procedure that stemmed from my ICU hospitalization in July.  If I'd asked Melody or Rachael or Amber,, they'd have had to take off work.  Had I asked my dad, well, he would have pulled one of his stunts and embarrassed us both!  But, this time it was Tyler, and it was late September.  I had to go back to the cath lab for  a procedure...and I almost cancelled.  Tyler had to take off work, I remember, but he was SOOOO good about it.  He was all like, "I'm here for you if you need someone to drive you..." and so, I let him.  I let him take me to my appointment. He sat with me both before I was wheeled back, and then again afterward while I was in recovery.  He stroked my hair out of my face.  He took notes on his phone as dictated by my cardiologist.  When the entire thing was over, he took me back to his house where he sat me on the couch, reclined and with a warm and fuzzy blanket, and he just...let me be.  He held my hand.  <3  

I dunno if I felt super vulnerable or super grateful...but he picked me up, opened the car door for me, and made sure I was properly buckled in before he put his sharp red 4-Runner in Drive. 

This man absolutely does it for me. He knows I am not yet legally divorced, but...here he is, almost EVERY evening...he's here, in the presence of me and my family.  I adore him. I think he's absolutely amazing. He's WAITING for me.  And it isn't pressure I feel...it's LOVE.  He WANTS me to talk to him.  Tyler WANTS to know my innermost thoughts.  He reads what I write; he respects it and never says I'm neglectful of my children because I write at night after they are asleep.  Tyler looks forward to the future...as do I.