 Gardens do not magically grow after we sow seed. In order for anything to grow in them, gardens must be tended and handled with love; we must cut back areas where weeds, the bad guys, try and take over. Where it is sparse, we have to be mindful to rotate crops and nourish the overworked earth sucked dry beneath the surface. Or so, I think. All I can say is this: If you have someone in your life then how about just love them and let them love YOU? When we build walls around our hearts, we make ourselves unavailable to the people who are supposed to matter the most to us. And if we keep rejecting love, and lashing out with cruel words and behaviors and hateful hearts, others STOP trying to love us. Instead, resentment sets in like an unwanted, unwelcome infestation. The love dies and the part of us that continues to try and make a meaningful connection with the other person just...stops. Like a fire, it blazes hot in the beginning...but left to fend for itself, that fire just fizzles out. If we continue pushing others out and away, then don't be at all surprised when the time comes to go separate ways. Gardens cannot and do not grow by themselves without guidance and proper upkeep. Fires cannot be expected to last forever when left unsupervised. Expecting either to do otherwise is foolish, and presumptuous, and impossible. No one person can alone, by themselves keep anything upright in a marriage. It can't be one-sided and flat, and then expected to be full and happy and treasured. Relationships, in all their dimensions, require attention, love, and safekeeping. If we are blocking those things, we cannot expect the outcome to be one in our favor.
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